Always On My Mind

Yesterday you saw how I pray for Julia.

You've seen how I pray for Palmer.

I have bits and pieces for Alyssa and Hunter. I pray. I just haven't seen a big picture yet. The one I see when I close my eyes and pray for their futures. It will come. I know it will. I will wait and pray until it does. My God is faithful. He has a plan. He has a purpose.

He's called me to mother these children and He will show me how to pray for them.

This is God's Word on the subject: "I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed...I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." Jeremiah 29:10-13 & John 10:10

How do you pray for your children?

What picture do you see when you close your eyes?

Please share.

Seeing with Eyes Closed

Julia plays soccer. She started playing four years ago. After she begged and begged and begged. And then begged some more. And started sleeping with her soccer ball. And then kept begging. Then I let her join a team.

You see, she's our girl who's tried it all. And been successful with it all. When she took tennis, the pro wanted her to take private lessons. When she danced, she had solos. When she played basketball, she controlled the ball and the court. When she played softball, she worked her way from the youngest, most inexperienced on the team to a starter who had the winning hit.

She's enjoyed most of these activities. She's always enjoyed herself.

As a matter of fact, she enjoys herself so much, it can be downright annoying. What Andrew and I see, what her coaches and teachers see is potential. It's obvious. She can be developed into a really great athlete. No question.

Until soccer, she was just interested in playing. On the field, on the court, on the stage. Playing. She can take a room full of her peers and have them in an organized game in just a few minutes. Recess is when she creates tether ball challenges and freeze tag tournaments. Indoor recess means a new club is created. A big one. A popular one. One that everyone wants to join. She's just a like that. A leader.

A solid leader. No doubt. She's had not one but two teachers in her short school career tell her they will be casting their vote for Julia Smith on election day. President, congress woman or senate seat, these two teachers both see Julia's name on the ballot one day.

She can take a stark, clean bedroom and with a few blankets, stuffed animals and her siblings, she has created a farm and she is feeding her animals. Or she can create a circus where she is training her animals. Or she can create an ocean where she is scuba diving and observing sea life. Or... You get the picture.

That's just Julia.

With soccer, she wants both. Fun and competition. Competition is fun. She's developing. She's not always the best one on the field. She's always improving. She's a joy to watch.

Sometimes I'm not sure she's taking all her training seriously enough. Other times I'm concerned she's not enjoying being a kid enough with all the pressure these days.

So when Julia was invited to be a part of a competitive soccer league I wasn't so sure about it all. I liked, no loved, the comfort of our city's recreational league. I was so used to the schedule. Two nights a week practice. One game on Saturday. Two tournaments a year. I loved our team's moms and we had great friends there.

Competitive means two practices plus extras. Two games a week. In Houston. On Sundays.

Competitive means commitment. Fancy uniforms. Embroidered bags. Monthly dues. Tryouts. New coaches, leagues, teams, parents.

Competitive means change.

Andrew and I were leaning hard towards no but we committed to pray before deciding.

Julia said she'd like to try it. She wanted more competition. More play time. More practices. She just wanted more soccer.

I was concerned about the time. The travel. The money. The commitment.

And then. I closed my eyes. I began to pray. Suddenly I saw my girl. Playing. Soccer with children. Lots of children. In other countries around the world. Sharing Jesus on the soccer field. Playing. With children. Soccer.

He showed me she needs training. Good training. The best training.

The Lord reminded me that her very name, Julia, means youthful. Youthful: of, pertaining to, or befitting youth. What is more characterizing of youth than playfulness? Playing.

He showed me how she has the mindset to answer his call. She doesn't care what the crowd is doing. She does what she wants. Without fear. Without reservation. She organizes. She makes things move.

The Lord showed me in an instant that he can take the very thing that makes a person unique. That very thing that I love but I hate. The thing that he put there and will refine. He will take that thing and use it to do something great. Use it to create a mighty life of worship in a little girl. Someday.

For today we play soccer.

And pray.

Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

So much funness...

So little time...

There is so much amazingness to catch up on in bloggyland. So much.

Some of you travel around the world. Some of you have babies. Some of you publish books. Some of you share heartfelt revelations. Some of you are traveling your own tough journey. Some of you are celebrating different sorts of victories.

All of you I love. All of you I miss.

Tonight I must go prepare for a garage sale.

Soon. I promise pictures of my "new" house. New paint. New floors. Emptier closets. Rearranged rooms, furniture, drapes. For all you nesters, stay tuned. Mine's looking new and different and it's all exciting.

Just stay tuned. Soon.

The Old Ball and Chain

Awhile back I was asked to make a list of messages our children are getting that are contrary to the absolute Truth we believe as Christians. The messages came slowly.

Wall-e tells my children that the future of our earth was disastrous, a wasteland that they would need to save by being green. Hannah Montana shows my children how they could live a double life...the best of two worlds by keeping secrets from everyone they know. Taylor Swift tells my children that being on the sidelines is where romance blooms and Harry Potter teaches them to use the power that they possess inside themselves.

Whew! Are future leaders of our country under attack or what? This just scratches the surface!

The gigantic revelation I had during this week long experiment was when my cell phone broke. I was in complete turmoil for two days. On one hand, I loved the silence of no ringing calls, no buzzing emails and no dinging text messages. On the other hand, I was in a constant state of panic. We don't have a land line and my cell phone is my only contact with the outside world. Checking email on my computer when I was at the house was simply not fast enough. I felt like I was missing tons of stuff. You know, important information.

My mom might need to tell me something, a client may need my help, a practice might be cancelled, Andrew might get a huge bonus...I felt like I was missing something the entire time my phone wasn't in my hand!

This is how we are raising our children. We are training them to be connected 24/7.

God used these two days to create a discipline in me. He gave me a desire to be intentional about not answering my phone. I've placed parameters on checking my emails and texts. I need boundaries on technology in my life or I'm "chatting" with people absent more than I'm chatting with little people who are here.

After all, how can I live if I'm only existing online? My time can certainly go much too quickly when I'm engaged with a computer screen instead of real life. I don't like leaving things in real life undone so that things online can be complete.

I want to teach my children to be present. I want them to feel important, much more important than my iPhone and the world wide web.

John 10:10 is one of my favorite verses. I was offline for awhile due to renovating our home. During which I couldn't even locate my computer or my shoes or my children's backpacks for over a week. Then I just started enjoying the freedom of not having the distraction of my cute little laptop time thief. During this time I have remembered what "having life" is really like. It's not beheld on a screen.

It's not that I haven't been writing, it's that I've been experiencing technological freedom. I'm back. Just with boundaries.

"A thief comes only to rob, kill, and destroy. I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest." John 10:10

Missing you...

It's like I forgot how to write. Not really write. I could never forget how to write. Just how to write on a blog.

I've got much to share. Much to tell. Even pictures to show. But for some reason the keyboard seems a little strange and a slight bit foreign to my stiff fingers.

Setting her up was like seeing a long lost friend. I thought catching up would be easy. But it's not. It's quite hard actually.

Oh, I won't give up because I want to catch up with all of you even more than I want to catch up with my computer or even with my blog.

But I'll also be honest. Having this contraption turned off for the last eleven days has been a little freeing. Really it has.

I wonder if I could get away without using my cell phone for that long...

What have ya'll been up to?

No Update What?!?

Hey friends! I cannot believe it's been a week since I was here. Time is flying quickly.

Andrew and I were able to get away to the Texas coast for a couple of days earlier this week. It was heavenly! Our theme this week has been that eighties' song that goes like this...don't ya know one thing leads to another...."

I did take some of your advice on treating last week's paprika stain. We decided to get new floors. Yaay!

But you know what that leads to...

painting and

purging and

decluttering and

organizing and

scrubbing and

rearranging and it will all culminate in...

One humongo garage sale.

We're the crazy ones, remember. Painting commences tomorrow. So you won't find me here regularly for awhile but I will keep you updated on our progress because I don't know when we'll say enough's enough!

For now, leave me your prayer requests. I'll be praying as I work.

Just for Today

Today was a better day. A good day. A day that I will think back on with smiles.

The boy who spilled paprika all over my carpet cleaned out his entire closet by himself complete with vacuuming. He organized the mountain of toys, finished obsessively and was insanely proud of his accomplishment. I was pretty darn proud myself.

So proud we celebrated and went for ice cream when we picked up the big kids from school.

Then we had an evening school performance. That same boy sat in his chair, clapped his hands and tapped his feet with the music for the whole performance. He was as proud as I was to be a part of this big, energetic, slightly crazy family.

It was a good day.

Here are their angelic, sweet, happy smiles. I hope they make you smile too.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD,

children a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,

his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

They're created new every morning.

How great your faithfulness!

I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).

He's all I've got left. Lamentations 3:22-24

Catering to the Masses

Yesterday was one of those days. There haven't been many days of this proportion.

Andrew was out of town. The house was a wreck. I had pre-decided that his absence would provide the perfect opportunity to get down and dirty scrubbing this old house. That was a colossal mistake. I should have known better than to think I'd have time to do anything on my own list.

Palmer was needy. So.very.needy. Andrew needed my help from afar. I spent a great portion of my day sitting, or rather standing, and staring at my computer screen attached to my cell phone.

As I was standing and staring.

Dump trucks filled with tiny toys and boy treasure lined my hallway. Shoeboxes filled with precious belongings collected from others' stashes stacked in his private corner. Every single chair in my house stood in a straight line and formed a huge bed for his stuffed animals' slumber party. He even dressed them all (and himself) for the occasion. Emptying his pajama drawer for the party a la bears. Cute.

Palmer was entertaining himself. Just a normal day's work for the little guy.

Until.

Palmer got bored.

Half a bottle of paprika on my playroom carpet. Gross. Stinky. Orange. Nasty.

Already feeling drained when the older children got home from school. I began to try to pick up some of said stuff but homework, dinner and bedtime routines called.

Some nights it just doesn't all get done. I sat down to spend some time in the Word. And he spoke.

"But Jesus said, "That isn't necessary--you feed them." (and) They all ate as much as they wanted...and the disciples picked up...leftovers. Matthew 14:16 & 20

Reading the feeding of the 5,000 always teaches me something. Always. Every.single.time.

Last night as I read I was aware that the disciples were tired. Even Jesus, I think, was a little tired here. After hearing of John's beheading he had withdrawn to a remote place. The disciples must have longed for some space to grieve. Quietly. Alone.

I bet the disciples were hurting and questioning. I'm almost sure they wanted Jesus to themselves. They needed his ministry. His perspective. His touch. Personally.

I wonder if they were a little miffed at Jesus' compassion. Even in his grief crowds followed him. They stormed his remote place begging him to heal their sick.

He had compassion on them.

Then. Finally. Dinnertime. The disciples suggested sending them away to eat. Jesus could rest. They could rest. The perfect escape from the crowd's insatiable requests.

Imagine their shock when Jesus suggests the disciples provide nourishment for the hungry crowd.

There wasn't enough.

They were tired.

After their protests, Jesus provides, miraculously, plenty from little for the crowd. There was even some left. Lots left.

This wasn't just a plain old miracle, it was a gigantic miracle that went the extra mile. It was a miracle birthed at a time when Jesus deserved a little rest. Some time to settle his emotions. Some chill time.

This was a miracle of giving that Jesus, already knowing he would do it, invited the disciples to perform.

This is an example. An invitation to me. In my house of energy. At my weakest point. Tired and all.

I want to learn the lesson. Pull from the Strength I possess. Give what lies dormant inside of me to the needy ones who follow me...even when I'm tired.

Because I have Jesus.

I have his promise.

"I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, if anyone steadfastly believes in Me, he will himself be able to do the things that I do; and he will do even greater things than these, because I go to the Father." John 14:12

Anyone know how to remove paprika stains?

My Crowd

Tonight I'm pondering the feeding of my crowd...
This is a flashback. Tomorrow I'll post the fresh word piggybacked onto this.
Jesus is the Bread of Life.



He fed the 5,000 in order to demonstrate who he is.

"When the people saw this miraculous sign, they exclaimed, "Surely, he is the Prophet we have been expecting!" John 6:14



There are so many truths to be learned from this one miracle.



Have you ever felt like there were masses of people around you all needing something, all needing too many things for you to supply at one time, things you couldn't give?



I feel this way all too often. My husband, my children and those in my sphere of influence who make up each close relationship in my life all need things from me. Sometimes just five hungry people overwhelm me. I can't imagine five thousand!



This must have been how the disciples felt when Jesus told them to feed five thousand hungry people who had come to hear Jesus teach. They must have been thinking, "No way!" Actually, they almost said it. "Philip replied, 'It would take a small fortune to feed them!'" John 6:7



So many times we figure the task God is asking us to do is impossible so we proclaim to God how hard it is and we stop. We do nothing.



When Jesus asked Philip how to feed all those people, He already knew what He was going to do. He was only asking to test Philip. Wow! He didn't really expect an answer or an argument. Jesus expected an agreement.

"Jesus soon saw a great crowd of people climbing the hill, looking for him. Turning to Philip, he asked, "Philip, where can we buy bread to feed all these people?" He was testing Philip, for he already knew what he was going to do. John 6:5-6



We should answer God more like Andrew did, "Here's a little, it's all that's around." Andrew gave the Lord all he could scrounge up.



It was a little boy's lunch of five small barley loaves and two small fish.



I believe it was amazing this boy shared at all. My boys certainly don't willingly give up food, especially when they're hungry!



But, this young boy gave all he had and God multiplied it so much that all 5,000 were fed and twelve whole baskets were leftover!



Jesus commanded the disciples to gather up the leftovers so that none would be wasted. He not only multiplied it to meet the current needs, He multiplied enough to meet needs that weren't even present at that time.


Feeding the 5000 is about taking a little bit, a small amount that is hard to give, and letting Jesus multiply it in our lives. This is my time, my energy, my knowledge, my affection, anything that others are asking me to give. In order to multiply it, I must sacrifice by giving to others.
Jesus gives me a little and requires me to give that little bit sacrificially to my multitude and somewhere in this process multiplies it around to everyone and none of us go away needy.



After performing this miracle, Jesus knowing he was being pursued withdrew to be alone.



I am struck, again, how Jesus always knew when he needed to withdraw and be alone. He certainly never got so overloaded and drained that he had to lay on the couch and watch TV for an hour to recover. He certainly wasn't prone to sleeping all day after exerting his power by performing miracles. He always withdrew from the crowd to refuel and re energize himself by being alone with God the Father. He always knew when it was time to withdraw. He withdrew that same day as he performed the miracle. He was certainly excited. He was certainly pursued by those who wanted to know more about him. Still he chose to withdraw before he was too emotionally drained and mentally exhausted to hear from the Father. He never wasted time being stressed.



I pray I would know when to withdraw. I'm talking about the times we need to seek him for refilling after a particularly exhausting event. Even the exciting, good events drain us. We have a tendency to ride it out. Talk about it with everyone for a long time and become completely dry before we turn to God for special times of refilling.



May we fill those depending on us and always have excess by knowing when to withdraw...



Only in Jesus!

Recovering

I've been trying to figure out why I'm so tired...

There are many reasons. Four huge ones :)

I love those reasons. So instead of entertaining you tonight with my words, tonight I'll leave with some images.

You can enjoy. I'm off to receive some much needed rest and to recover life. Lately I've been sludging through the days. I like to skip through the days. Tonight I decided I needed to recover. Tonight my recovery comes in the form of peace, quiet and a little bit of time to enjoy these reasons of tiredness and this life that I love.

Again today I love how The Message says it best. When I'm too tired to think, I need The Message!

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Matthew 11:28-30